Wednesday, September 24, 2008

is that silence i hear

here i sit, a moment in silence. except for the clinking of coffee cups in the background, i am alone. these moments don't happen often. in fact, we have to seek and search them out. we take these opportunities to get lost on the internet, taking care of necessary business, staying in touch with friends and family and researching the next destination.

i'm not always so sure what to do with this time. i'm so use to being surrounded by little minds always on the go. it gets a bit crazy here at times. overwhelming is the word. sometimes i'd even say i feel claustrophopic. stir crazy. i'm sure the kids feel it too. they just don't know how to express it yet. i try hard to look into my kiddos eyes and see what's really going on in there. are they coloring on the table, hiding sissy's favorite teddy bear or tearing up over something silly because they are naughty or simply because they are feeling couped up in the RV like me. are they getting enough one on one time? do they miss their life back "home"? i feel like i know my children well. i remind myself everyday that these little ones are going through this with me. that even though they are young, this is new for all of us, and like i said a transition time. we are sitting still right now. it feels a little stale at times. especially when those clouds hang low.
don't get me wrong...we are having fun here. we love being with family. we've never "lived" near grandparents. the kids can't get enough. it's nice to see the excitement to see nan nan and grumpy, even if it's only been 20 minutes . it's going to be hard to leave that. but we must journey on, explore and do what it was we originally set out to do.

jay slapped the last coat of paint on the boat yesterday. it's almost finished and ready to go back into the water. it's been fun to watch the boat transform and proudly wear it's shiny new happy paint. i'm going to have jay write a whole new blog about the old "gypsy soul". i'll do no justice. it's been a long tough rewarding job. and a whole new talent to add to the long resume.

that means that we'll be leaving this haven soon and out in the open alone. yippee!!!!! out across WA, through ID and MT and into Yellowstone we go. The bad momma that i can be at times has my kids convinced that the grizzlies will eat us, or at least the dog. so i must remember when they can't sleep those nights in the park that it was indeed me that planted that seed. all in fun though, i swear.

i'm going to go out and enjoy the sunshine now. i promise to get pictures up soon, when i have a decent internet connection.
we miss you all!

Monday, September 22, 2008

New Life

It seems to me that as soon as you get comfortable with life, somethings bound to happen to bring you back down. I try to put that belief aside and enjoy the moment. I'll admit right now that I'm a stresser. Come on, it's in my blood(right mom). I'm trying real hard to work on that. It just seems to be one struggle after another. So has soon as the paychecks start rolling in, the savings account starts growing and life just seems to be rolling happily along....lightening strikes.

Not long ago we were living in Bend, Oregon which is a beauty of it's own. We thought we'd never leave. I quickly learned this summer that Bend is somewhat of an "island", and oasis in the desert. So as the economy fails us, Bend is slowly becoming a ghost town. At least that's what it seemed like to me.

The story goes like this::::Jason got laid off in May. I tried real hard not to freak out and trust that these things happen for a reason. Something better always comes along. I allowed myself to enjoy a playful,stress-free summer camping in the mountains and swimming in the clear, cold lakes with my family. That was until my job shut their doors. Without warning both of us were unemployed. Again, I tried real hard not to lose it, keep calm and breath. But with 3 kids to feed and rent and bills to pay, that just wasn't happening. Is this how I wanted to spend my time. Having anxiety and stressing about what was next? Wasting away reading the classified ads in the paper, on the internet or any other place I might find a job. Reality was, there just weren't any jobs out there for us to be found.
The time had come. Time to leave Bend.

The decision itself wasn't hard. Traveling and exploring is something we love and hitting the open road with our kids was always a dream. There were always jobs to report to in the morning and spelling tests at school. Now with no alarm clock needed to be set it seemed like a no brainer. It was time for us to go out and find a new "Bend".
Without time to really let it process, we decided to hold a yard sale the next weekend and sell all unnecessary belongings and shop for an RV. You would never believe the amount of..should I say it....CRAP, that we sold. As people pulled away with our life in their backseats we scrambled to throw everything else into our new home.
In under 2 weeks we had found a house on wheels, sold or stored everything we owned, said tearful goodbyes to our friends and drove onto the open road.
Our first stop is Anacortes, WA.
We've been here for 5 weeks now, going through the transition of sharing space, when in fact we have no space. Laughing with new friends and crying over missed ones back home. Trying to figure out how the hell to homeschool (or roadschool, as those who travel full time call it). Becoming best friends with quarters, as one of those will get you a 1 3/4 minute shower or clean clothes...whichever is more important the day you collect enough. Taking anyone up on dinner offers or driveway hookups. Being shameless and proud.
Remembering that all of us our going to have our days. Days when we just feel down and lonely. Because those will be few. The days with smiles, laughter and new adventures far outweigh the cold.
This is just the beginning.